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F.R.I.E.N.D.S |
Childhood friends, kindergarten friends, high school friends are all the labels we give to describe the length our friendships, and inadvertently the places we met. In today's culture we become friends on social media, and even date via online dating sites, and yes these friendships are also bound by the true definition of a friend.
One of my favourite shows was Friends, I watched every single episode living through the entire story line. The characters were a mixed group of males and females with a variety of personalities, they all supported each other, shared their apartments, and even fell in love with each other at some point. They had fights and disagreements but it all came back to the key pillars of friendship: trust, love, respect, support, and care.
Philia is the love that speaks to friendship. The ancient Greeks valued philia far above eros because it was considered the love between two equals. Plato however felt that physical attraction was not a necessary part of love, hence the use of the word platonic to mean "without physical attraction". Philia is the love type that is felt among friends who have endured a lot together (the good time and the bad).
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Friendship A Single Soul Living In Two Bodies |
What is a friend? To me a friend is someone you share a mutual bond of affection, its a person whom you feel fond of and enjoy being with. A friend is someone who supports you, who will stand in for you and be your biggest cheerleader on the days you feel like the biggest loser. This is what philia love is about.
It is according to Aristole a dispassionate virtuous love that is free from the intensity of sexual attraction. It often involves the feeling of loyalty among friends, camaraderie among team mates, and sense of sacrifice for your pack.
This platonic friendship is a common trend that is increasing in our modern world. Most platonic friendships comfort us in our gloomy days single days and some naturally fill gaps and needs that are lacking from our current partners, husbands and even family. As a wife and confidant to my friends both male and female, I have seen how platonic friendship break the intimacy bonds between a husband and a wife.
In marriage we need philia, we also must acknowledge that not all marriages live up to the tag line, "I married my best friend". But what do we do when, we are at the harbor (marriage) and the friend and the ship are not docking at same time? Marriage without friendship cannot work in today's culture. Just as we nourish and nurture our other friendships, the same amount or even more energy should be dedicated towards a friendship with our spouse. We need to continue to pursue our partners and want all of them, everyday and forever. Click on link below for a deeper understanding on the importance of friendship in marriage.
It is according to Aristole a dispassionate virtuous love that is free from the intensity of sexual attraction. It often involves the feeling of loyalty among friends, camaraderie among team mates, and sense of sacrifice for your pack.
This platonic friendship is a common trend that is increasing in our modern world. Most platonic friendships comfort us in our gloomy days single days and some naturally fill gaps and needs that are lacking from our current partners, husbands and even family. As a wife and confidant to my friends both male and female, I have seen how platonic friendship break the intimacy bonds between a husband and a wife.
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All of You, Everyday and Forever |
In marriage we need philia, we also must acknowledge that not all marriages live up to the tag line, "I married my best friend". But what do we do when, we are at the harbor (marriage) and the friend and the ship are not docking at same time? Marriage without friendship cannot work in today's culture. Just as we nourish and nurture our other friendships, the same amount or even more energy should be dedicated towards a friendship with our spouse. We need to continue to pursue our partners and want all of them, everyday and forever. Click on link below for a deeper understanding on the importance of friendship in marriage.
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